Four Years and Five Days

Four years and five days ago, I moved to Albuquerque. It was a move that had been in the making for a while. I had wanted to return to New Mexico for some time, but it was hard to decide it and finally go through with it. I was afraid of not finding a job, of not knowing how to begin again in a new city. I am so glad that I moved to Albuquerque. The last four years have been bumpy at times, but there has also been great healing and realization. There has been one apartment, two cars, … Continue reading Four Years and Five Days

Making Space

I believe in synchronicity and that coincidences have meaning. I believe in signs. I also, after years of not listening to it, believe in my inner voice (different from the chatter that can clutter our minds). Right now, there are all kinds of signs and synchronicities telling me to make space. It’s also a big desire right at the moment. Making space is lots of things. It can be making space when someone comes to visit. It can be clearing out the closet and making a pile of donations. It can be pausing and remaining quiet so someone else can … Continue reading Making Space

Finding and Fulfilling Friendships

When I was little, friendship seemed easy. If we both liked to swing and play in the sand box, our friendship was cemented in pre-school. I had a couple of neighbors who were about the same age and so, we became friends. In elementary school, I lived in a small town, and in my tiny class of 17 students, we all seemed to be friends. We ran in a pack, we organized games of horse and soccer on the playground, and in the classroom we learned together. I might be idealizing those days a bit, but that’s how I remember … Continue reading Finding and Fulfilling Friendships

All the Lists in the World . . .

All the lists in the world . . . Won’t make you renew your passport. Won’t get you to make the phone call. Won’t force you to say yes. Won’t make you get up early to write. Won’t make you stay up late to paint. Don’t mean you’ll complete the things on the list. Don’t mean that you’re not scared. Don’t reveal the day when you show up in a sizzling red dress. Don’t show the progress of a transformed life. Don’t show the discomfort after a fight, when you’re finding the peace and shutting out the bullshit. Don’t show … Continue reading All the Lists in the World . . .

A Matter of Perspective

Perspective is a funny thing. Your whole view (literal or figurative) can change with just a slight change in perspective (literal or figurative). A change in perspective can come after a good night’s sleep. A change in perspective can come after listening to a trusted friend for advice. A change in perspective can come after 20 years. A change in perspective can come after you’ve been shaken to your core and everything you thought you knew is different. A change in perspective can come with careful practice, examining yourself and situation and looking at outcomes and how things can change … Continue reading A Matter of Perspective

Endings and Forgiveness

I don’t talk or write very often about endings. I have written a lot about beginnings, starting new projects, greeting a new season, and even resetting to begin again. Very few posts in this blog have to do with ending and completion. When I ran a marathon in 2015, there was a lot of celebration at the starting line. Surprisingly, there was much less hoopla at the finish line. In a lot of ways this makes sense. In the marathon, we all start more or less together, thousands of people beginning the journey, but then we spread out over the … Continue reading Endings and Forgiveness

Dreaming and Doing with a Dry Erase Board

Recently, I got a lease renewal notice from my landlord taped to my door. I opened it, puzzled, because I moved into this apartment in October more than three years ago. Ownership had changed a year ago, and they were changing terms and getting caught up with residents. Luckily, they gave me more than a month to decide if I was going to renew my lease and for how long. Weirdly, when I get my lease renewal, I start dreaming of impermanence and travel. I guess that when you have a mortgage and a house or condo, you take a … Continue reading Dreaming and Doing with a Dry Erase Board