Four years and five days ago, I moved to Albuquerque. It was a move that had been in the making for a while. I had wanted to return to New Mexico for some time, but it was hard to decide it and finally go through with it. I was afraid of not finding a job, of not knowing how to begin again in a new city. I am so glad that I moved to Albuquerque. The last four years have been bumpy at times, but there has also been great healing and realization. There has been one apartment, two cars, … Continue reading Four Years and Five Days
I believe in synchronicity and that coincidences have meaning. I believe in signs. I also, after years of not listening to it, believe in my inner voice (different from the chatter that can clutter our minds). Right now, there are all kinds of signs and synchronicities telling me to make space. It’s also a big desire right at the moment. Making space is lots of things. It can be making space when someone comes to visit. It can be clearing out the closet and making a pile of donations. It can be pausing and remaining quiet so someone else can … Continue reading Making Space
Summer has its own special feel. Part of that is the heat and part of it is the lightheartedness that comes with this season. Many people take vacations and long weekends and there is an air of celebration that seeps in with the longer days. Even those of us not taking time off, we celebrate in our off time, the evenings and early mornings, the weekends. I am warm, my body a bit of a furnace. I used to hate being hot as a kid, and now I revel in it. Hardly ever am I cold. I bask in the … Continue reading Savoring Summer By Sipping Cold Drinks and Wearing Long Sundresses
All the lists in the world . . . Won’t make you renew your passport. Won’t get you to make the phone call. Won’t force you to say yes. Won’t make you get up early to write. Won’t make you stay up late to paint. Don’t mean you’ll complete the things on the list. Don’t mean that you’re not scared. Don’t reveal the day when you show up in a sizzling red dress. Don’t show the progress of a transformed life. Don’t show the discomfort after a fight, when you’re finding the peace and shutting out the bullshit. Don’t show … Continue reading All the Lists in the World . . .
When I was six, my good friend Demi, also six, could do the splits, just as casually as she could walk. In fact, she could walk and make a big step and fall into the splits, with maybe only a slight adjustment needed for her clothes. We liked to run fast on the blacktop playground and flip upside down on the bars. We also liked dresses, so we wore shorts underneath. I always thought of Demi as flexible, in the literal sense, but looking back, I see how our six-year-old practicality and openness was also flexibility. Anyone who wanted to, … Continue reading Flexibility
Recently, I got a lease renewal notice from my landlord taped to my door. I opened it, puzzled, because I moved into this apartment in October more than three years ago. Ownership had changed a year ago, and they were changing terms and getting caught up with residents. Luckily, they gave me more than a month to decide if I was going to renew my lease and for how long. Weirdly, when I get my lease renewal, I start dreaming of impermanence and travel. I guess that when you have a mortgage and a house or condo, you take a … Continue reading Dreaming and Doing with a Dry Erase Board
I sit here in my lovely apartment, the glass door opening for the cool spring evening air, a favorite CD playing in the background, a pizza cooking in the oven, a gin and tonic with ice sitting in a mason jar next to my computer. I am happily and cozily at home. Lately, though, I have been thinking of traveling and moving and wandering. And not just dreaming about it, but exploring and looking to see what that might look like. What would it take to live abroad? What would I need to take a really long hike? Would I … Continue reading Wondering About Wandering